Doing what *I* Want

I can’t remember the last time I did a project that was simply for my own entertainment or gratification. My free time is always spent playing worthless, socially-physically-mentally-irredeemable video games, and it’s got to stop. What little creative energies I have left in me have to go into something else. Problem is, everything I do on a computer that isn’t shooting at something feels like work. I need to get back to when I had fun just futzing around and creating whatever I wanted.

The problem is pressure. Pressure to perform, to produce something that can be consumed and enjoyed by others besides myself. I’m become so concerned with creating something exciting, engaging, and well-thought-out that I’ve lost the ability to just slap up on a page / screen whatever amusing little bit of fluffery pops into my head.

It’s difficult for me to believe that something remarkable can come about through sheer perseverance and consistency, and not be innately within someone. Either you’ve got it, or you don’t. You can slog away on your mediocre blog or photo collection or artwork or whatever the fuck it is you think is so awesome, but unless you’re raking in tens of thousands of hits or dollars, face it: you’re nothing special.

Maybe that’s the problem – I’m so concerned with being something special, I’ve forgotten how to just be me. And quite honestly, that’s the vast majority of the content out there, just people slapping up whatever makes them happy about themselves. Some are just more fortunate that their material is something the rest of the world actually wants to read/consume.

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Hooray for Wordpress! It’s the greatest blogging platform EVAR!

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